Coffee Delirium
by JustaBunchaHOOPLA
Summary: Halt leaves Will and Gil alone...not such a good idea right after he stocked up on his favorite coffee. R&R?
1. Gil needs a Babysitter

**Don't yell at me, I had this idea but I know I'm procrastinating on writing my other stories… but now I proudly present…. Coffee Delirium! It's a short chapter, though…**

Chapter 1: Party!

The door thudded shut, leaving Will and Gilan alone.

Halt rode without a trace through the discreet path winding through the woods, secluded from most of mankind. Off to a meeting with Baron Arald, he had left Gilan in charge of Will because 1) Will was still an apprentice, 2) he needed to get away from Gil, and 3) he was already there. It seemed simple enough, as the only instructions were: Do NOT do anything unapproved by Halt. Which was almost everything, now that he came to think of it…

…

"Buh nuh nuh nuh buh nuh nuh nuh BA-NA-NAS! Buh nuh nuh nuh buh nuh nuh nuh nuh! WOOT WOOT HORSIES RULE! Whee-shnaw goes the hor-sey!" Will tiredly shook his head. It was more like he was babysitting Gil. Now he knew what Halt felt like when he had Gil around _all the time. _Time to get out the coffee.

_Three minutes after getting out the coffee beans…_

"Let's have a coffee party! YEAH YEAH WOOT WOOT!" Gilan screamed as he ran around the kitchen, wearing his cloak like a cape. Will guessed he never stayed home without an adult often, and this was the reason why. The apprentice sighed, and dutifully went back to making his beloved coffee. It was, in fact, one of the only things that could relieve him of his headache at the moment. If only Gil would have a nice cup of _shut the hell up _he could concentrate on mending a tear in his cloak… then he fell into a dark hole of welcoming oblivion. With a needle still in his hand…

…

Gil was having fun. Now that he successfully accomplished in getting Will to fall asleep, he could jump straight into his plan of action. Will was such a pussy, no one cares if it will get them in trouble, as long as they're having fun, right? Time to get the water boiling!


	2. Wake up! or not

**Hey guys :) I wanted to post something so here it is! **

Chapter 2: Wake Up!

_Pleasedon'twakeuppleasedon'twakeuppleasedon'twakeup! _

Will was still, in fact, passed out in the kitchen chair. Hopefully the sound of many pots of water boiling over a stove wouldn't help him break through the clutches of sleep…

…

_ A unicorn pranced by, going by the name of Ms. Whii-Shnaw :) (yes, with the smile). Flowers bloomed wherever she twirled, and once-dull plain blossomed with life, teeming over the brim with mushy happiness! Suddenly, a deluge of rain was dumped upon these unsuspecting creatures of elegance. The unicorn was soaked. She glowed, brightly, brilliantly, all colors of the rainbow (and ones not in it) pulsed, the unicorn the epicenter of this amazing display of bursting colors. Then…just then…a woman appeared just as the rain was vanishing in the hands—hooves—of Ms. Whii Shnaw :). She took a match, striking it against the box to light it. Miraculously, it stayed lit through the tormenting gusts of wind and even set the rain on fire. She started singing in an impossibly high voice without missing a note._

_I set fire to the rain  
Watched it pour as I touched your face  
Let it burn while I cried  
'Cause I heard it screaming out you name_

_Will (and Ms. Whii Shnaw :)) did not know what that had to do with anything…other than the fact that it was, in fact, raining fire._

_Time to take cover._

…

Gil glanced over to Will. Stirring, he started mumbling. Straining his ears to make out what he was saying, he heard exactly this:

_Little unicorn  
Oh, beautiful unicorn  
Save us all from that evil woman who set fried chicken to the rain  
Nom nom nom chicken good  
Mr. Whee Shnaw_

"Ohhhhh kaaaaaaaay…" he nodded once as if in affirmation that Will really was sleeping and not on drugs. And not singing about unicorns.

_Please don't wake up_

…

At least the coffee was almost ready!

**Gosh Gil, you didn't just give Will LSD, right? (Isn't it that stuff that makes you hallucinate? We learned about it health…) I had fun writing that :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Adele's **_**Set Fire to the Rain **_**or John Flanagan's **_**Ranger's Apprentice. **_**If I did, I wouldn't be on here…for obvious reasons. Use you common sense. (Think deeper! Over time! Past! Present! Future! (yeah, become a minion of my English teacher :)))**


	3. Welcome to my Life

**You all know I have a terrible disease called laziness, right?**

Chapter 3: Welcome to my Life!

Mmmm… all this coffee, Gil must be in heaven. Not that he remembered doing anything particularly good in his lifetime…

Gilan, sadly, had only found four coffee pots and could only, surprisingly, only make four pots of coffee at once. Good thing no the water barrel was filled up; he wouldn't have to go fetch some more from the stream behind the cabin. And, he remembered fondly from his apprentice days, it was quite a ways off.

Life was good, welcome to Gil's life.

…

_ Will was standing by the ocean, under a tree, safe from the fire that was raining down. Now the lady was strolling across the ocean, oblivious of the fire and seemingly fireproof. She was singing again._

_There's a fire burning in my heart  
Reaching a fever pitch it's bringing me out the dark_

_Will guessed it made enough sense, it _was _raining fire. And dawn was approaching. Although he wasn't sure about the fever part, he could tell she was singing at a very high pitch, switching from high to low with a groggy blink of his eyes. She continued on:_

_We could have had it all  
Rolling in the deep  
You had my heart inside your hand  
And you played it to the beat_

_Will had absolutely no idea what that meant, apart from the 'rolling in the deep' part, which made half sense since she was diving in and out of the ocean as she sang. Quite a funny sight, really. _

_Suddenly, Mr. Whee Shnaw and Ms. Whii Shnaw :) pranced out. As newlyweds, they were going on a honeymoon on a cruise across the seven seas. _

_Baby I have no story to be told  
But I've heard the one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn  
Think of me in the depths of your despair  
Making a home down there as mine won't be shared_

_That made no sense either… Will got bored and floated over to the horsey couple in his drug-influenced dream. Wondering how a beautiful unicorn like that ever got some random horse like Mr. Whee Shnaw, Will scratched his chin and ended up flipping into the ocean along with a unicorn, a horse, and that singer. _

_Life was weird. Welcome to Will's life._

…

Now he just needed a place to put the coffee…

Gathering numerous buckets, mugs, and whatever containers that could hold liquid, Gil dumped them unceremoniously on the table and they crashed around Will's head. He scooped out some beans and soon the aromatic smell of black coffee filled the cabin. _Good thing Halt stocked up on his favorite coffee, _Gil thought to himself as he poured the four pots into a wooden bucket. It filled it up to the very top, and Gil took it upon himself chug it down after a generous dollop of honey.

He was ready to make more coffee.

**Did you like it? If you review, you'll find some sort of thanks waiting :)**


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